There was a time dear, when I would have...

There was a time dear, when I would have shown you my true self,

Showed you exactly what colors my dreams were made of,
around midnight as I jolted you out of your sleep..

Told you exactly how I felt over that orange colored shirt of yours,
after you had worn it thrice in the week..

Explained to you the intricacies of my feelings,
That it was not all jealousy for the beautiful woman at the party..

Patiently sorted all the disturbances raging in my mind,
as I made chilled pineapple-mango smoothie just the way you liked..

Bitched to you big time about the red-air-head at work,
while you would laugh your head off at my childishness..

Complained to you about how I was burning up with the fever,
Paying scant attention to the normal reading of the thermometer..

Narrated to you the latest plot of my novel-to-be,
As you tried to keep a straight face and not burst out laughing..

Taken a walk around the block with you, saying nothing at all,
while you cursed me for dragging you out in the rain..

Phoned you on the slightest pretext just to hear your voice,
and feel all good when you would answer even when in the midst of a meeting...

Hugged you tight as tears rolled down my cheeks,
while you hugged me back tighter a smile dancing on your lips...

Sulked over the most trivial of issues,
as you tried to apologize for no fault of your own...

Flaunted you in front of all my friends,
While you secretely enjoyed all the attention you were getting...

Compared all and sundry to you saying they were better,
while knowing in my heart that there was none to beat you...

Accused you of not taking me out on a decent vacation,
Fully aware of the surprise plans you were going to spring on me..

Called you right now to tell you how much I love you,
Though its been a long time since we've been together...

There was a time dear, when I would have shown you my true self,
But this simply dear, is not that time - I wonder if it ever shall be!

A moment

A moment in my life,
A moment so miniscule,
that it could be easily overlooked,
with a shrug of the shoulders,
like it never existed,
never happened,
but...

The moment does not stare at me,
does not hold me in a vise-like grip,
it sometimes manages to waft in,
slow and seductive,
I manage to shake it away easily,
with almost no-effort,
but...

For days the thoughts don't drift,
the concious does not let go,
not even for a second,
life gains attention,
moments of the present overtaking,
what happened so long ago,
but...

No longer is there a longing,
breathing comes naturally,
in and out, in and out,
there is no pressure to to be happy,
the moment is all but forgotten,
as I peep into the eyes of someone familiar,
but...

Surely it has been more than a few lifetimes,
since the moment came to haunt me,
seems like so long ago,
I must have gotten over it,
I decide triumphantly,
ready to party,
but...

But right this moment, it is different,
there is just that moment and no others,
not the ones before, not the ones after,
why is it that how many ever times I have tried to burn it,
it is always there - a but!

---*---*----*---

*inspired from the lines :

"ek chota sa lamha hain jo khatm nahi hotha, main laakh jalaata hoon wo bhasm nahi hotha"

from the Song "Chod aaye hum woh galiyan" from the movie Maachis!

Yes that it is - the inspiration...not interesting? ;-) ...Well that song and...I wish I could tell but... !! :-p

Also, I wish I could do one word of the poem in urdu..lekin instead of but! ah!

Something's missing in my life....

Something was missing in my life,
I set out to find what!

On the way I found Joy,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I,
You did hold me when you held your newborn, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found Friendship,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I,
You see me everyday when your brother is around, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found Relief,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I,
I was with you when the test results were out, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found Grief,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I,
You feel me everyday when you think of your late mom, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found laughter,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I,
You use me so much towards yourself, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found Regret,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I.
I live within you for all the things you didn't try, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found Fun,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I.
You are with me when you play with your grandchildren, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found Success,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I.
You worked all your life for me, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found Health,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I.
You have always taken care of me, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found Jealousy,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I.
You have felt me innumerable times , said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found Doubt,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I.
I am at the back of your mind always, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found Youth,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I.
You still retain me in your heart, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found Anger,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I.
I am always there simmering underneath, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found Experience,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I.
I am with you in every step you take, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found Love,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I,
You can find me everyday in the eyes of your wife, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found Hate,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I.
I am always there inspite of you, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found Need,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I.
I can never leave you, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found Tears,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I.
I am the one burning your eyes right now, said she.
So I set off again.

On the way I found God,
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I.
I am the one who gave you all these things, said God nodding.
I had found what I was looking for.

[was very tempted to put this:
On the way I found Death
Have you been missing in my life? Asked I.
Come here you , said she.
I could not set off again!
but since it was a spiritual exercise stuck to God!]